Strong Family Narratives Equal Emotionally Strong Children

Last March, Prucia Buscell wrote an article about the importance of retelling family stories for the emotional stability of our families and especially our children. In her article she quoted, Marshall Duke  and his New York Times column "Family Stories That Bind Us,” Bruce Feiler reports on the research and suggests the one most important thing you can do for your family is to develop a strong family narrative. Feiler, who is a scholar of religion and the Middle East, is also the author of the book The Secrets of Happy Families.

Marshall Duke, a psychologist at Emory University and his colleague Robyn Fivush, director of Emory’s Family Narratives Lab, developed a measure that asks school children 20 questions about their families. They found that kids who know the most about their families tend to be the most resilient when they face adversity, and the measure tends to be a good predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness. That got me thinking about our childhood stories. Our family stories were slim pickins, in fact  I remember wanting to know more about our Mother and Father, and wondering where they grew up. It wasn't until I began doing Family History research that our family histories began to come forth. Our paternal grandmother, Dorothy Matie Schnee Hughes, began telling me stories about growing up poor in the mid-west; stories of striving to survive in violent times. She was the oldest of eight children and seldom had play time. Grandma's growing years were spent milking cows, hoeing fields and attending school until she graduated (I think) from 8th grade. She told stories of tricking a well-to-do cousin who was often snooty and showing off her pretty dresses while Grandma did chores in dungarees. That all changed the day miss snooty told her, " your Pa said you have to show me how to milk a cow!"  Of course by this time the cows were milked and just crunching on hay, but Grandma, dutifully, showed miss snooty where to put the pail, then told her to just crank the cows tail up and down like the kitchen pump. When no milk went into the pail, miss snooty started complaining. So, Grandma stopped forking manuer and said, "She's probably got a clog. Just lift her tail and tell me what you see." That particular cow had a very loose stool on a good day, but after having her tail pumped quite a few times, well let's just say miss snooty's pink frilly dress and hair ribbons were given a chocolate wash! 😂 What teachable, fun, hilarious stories do you share with your children?