I've had many people, most in my own family, ask me just that, "Why waste so much time on this?" So I thought I'd tell you...
My Sister and I aren't technically orphans, after all we do have one another, but when our Mother died we lost our link to her family, which was fragile at best, and later our Father passed also. With those loss of our Mother during our teens we also felt we'd lost the rest of our family. On top of that we found we would be forever childless.
We don't know if it was because of our DNA, or something we were exposed to as children, whatever the reason we are unable to give birth to our own children, which adds another dimension to the isolation we feel.
What that developed in us was a deep need, even an obsessive desire, for family. People who we belonged to, could visit with and love. Growing up we seldom were able to spend time with our half-brothers, and they didn't really have an emotional connection to us either. That puts a strain on them and a constant yearning within us that doesn't ease with time.
Doctors will tell you how the longer our Need for human connections goes unmet the greater the stress on our health becomes. High blood pressure, obesity, smoking, alcohol abuse, premature aging, all these are symptoms of a vast loneliness that threatens the very existence of the lonely.
My Sister and I keep in touch with our brothers and family though FaceBook, and a dinner now and then through the years, but what about all that in-between time? We work, constantly, for acceptance by those we spend the most time with. We also reach out in love to members of our family lines, hoping for signs of acceptance in return. When the loneliness is at it's highest we may find ourselves pushing our families away, just so we won't 'Hurt' anymore, (which by-the-way is not a very effective means to handle loneliness).
John Cacioppo, a neuroscientist at the University of Chicago coauthored a book all about it, Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. In his book he explains how if we want to be healthy adults, we must find a way to bring family into our lives.
I have met a large part of my need for family through my marriage to Marvin, (28 yrs this Spring) and though the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the many many friendships I've built over the years in and out of the Church where one of the chief ties-that-bind of the Gospel of Jesus Christ are family lines. You can see that in the 'begats' of the Old Testament.
I've found that Family History, or Genealogy, is a healthy way to connect and build my Family Foundation and to create a knowledgeable understanding of how my Family Lines ended up in America.
There are many ways to belong in this world, clubs you can join, services you can be a part of, but no matter how strong your feelings are for the people you rub shoulders with each and every day, the day will come when you will wonder where you come from and what that means in your life.
For me, Family History is a way to connect with my families in ways that fulfill part of that need for a strong relationship with my family. FaceBook is great, but when it comes down to survival we will always choose to save those people who we have the greatest emotional bond with.
So, here is your question for the day... If a Tsunami Wave were on the horizon, who (or what) would you grab hold of and rush to higher ground?
