Marshall Duke, a psychologist at Emory University and his colleague Robyn Fivush, director of Emory’s Family Narratives Lab, developed a measure that asks school children 20 questions about their families. They found that kids who know the most about their families tend to be the most resilient when they face adversity, and the measure tends to be a good predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness. That got me thinking about our childhood stories. Our family stories were slim pickins, in fact I remember wanting to know more about our Mother and Father, and wondering where they grew up. It wasn't until I began doing Family History research that our family histories began to come forth. Our paternal grandmother, Dorothy Matie Schnee Hughes, began telling me stories about growing up poor in the mid-west; stories of striving to survive in violent times. She was the oldest of eight children and seldom had play time. Grandma's growing years were spent milking cows, hoeing fields and attending school until she graduated (I think) from 8th grade. She told stories of tricking a well-to-do cousin who was often snooty and showing off her pretty dresses while Grandma did chores in dungarees. That all changed the day miss snooty told her, " your Pa said you have to show me how to milk a cow!" Of course by this time the cows were milked and just crunching on hay, but Grandma, dutifully, showed miss snooty where to put the pail, then told her to just crank the cows tail up and down like the kitchen pump. When no milk went into the pail, miss snooty started complaining. So, Grandma stopped forking manuer and said, "She's probably got a clog. Just lift her tail and tell me what you see." That particular cow had a very loose stool on a good day, but after having her tail pumped quite a few times, well let's just say miss snooty's pink frilly dress and hair ribbons were given a chocolate wash! 😂 What teachable, fun, hilarious stories do you share with your children? |
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Strong Family Narratives Equal Emotionally Strong Children
Last March, Prucia Buscell wrote an article about the importance of retelling family stories for the emotional stability of our families and especially our children. In her article she quoted, Marshall Duke and his New York Times column "Family Stories That Bind Us,” Bruce Feiler reports on the research and suggests the one most important thing you can do for your family is to develop a strong family narrative. Feiler, who is a scholar of religion and the Middle East, is also the author of the book The Secrets of Happy Families.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Have You Found Your Family Legacy Yet?
When we study about the Apostle Paul we can read three simple statements that contain his legacy. He had “fought the good fight”—standing firm as a spiritual warrior, clothed in the armor of God, that he had faithfully defended the truth of the gospel, and that he had “kept the faith”—remaining true, committed, and loyal to the One who rescued him from sin and darkness.
Paul’s wrote brief statements that didn't talk about the education he had received at the feet of the Savior, the places he had traveled, the letters he had written, the people he had preached to, or the churches he had started. Yet his legacy teaches us today.
Paul’s wrote brief statements that didn't talk about the education he had received at the feet of the Savior, the places he had traveled, the letters he had written, the people he had preached to, or the churches he had started. Yet his legacy teaches us today.
So, I have asked myself, “If that’s the kind of legacy I want to find, how would I look for it today?" I would love to possess a few words that would define our Great Grandfather Schnee and explain why he left his family in Pensylvania. As I though about the answer to my question my mind was drawn to a Sunday School lesson about the Gospels, where I learned the scriptures are much like a diary, although they were written by Jesus' Apostles, after the death and resurrection of The Lord Jesus.
In the middle of the 4th century, The Acts were compiled from letters Peter and Paul wrote to the Churches. It makes perfect sense that they were written from their own letters or papers, which the Apostles had written, because each book has its own way of speaking. Plus, as we grow older, our minds seem to naturally turn to the happenings of our youth and I have found myself writing about lessons I have learned and want to pass on to my loved ones.
At Family History seminars we often hear about the stories taken from a journal of an Aunt or Grandfather who wrote of the struggles involving crossing the plains and mountains of America, however those stories are rare. For the most part, we will spend years gathering certificates, census records and deeds, then do our best to create a map and timeline, but writing the life's story of an ancestor can be tricky, because we are viewing that story from the viewpoint of different life experiences.
When you have read histories or journals about life in the a timeline for your ancestors, and created a map of their travels, you'll begin to get a feel for what life was like in 1834 Scotland, or aboard a dark, smelly ship in 1773, etc. Then, somewhat like how you would while reading the scriptures, put yourself in the shoes of your twice great grandfather or whoever has resonated with you, and write their diary for them.
Write of the joyful celebration that must have occurred when the first child of 4 pregnancies was born alive and with strong lungs to complain about having to experience life outside of the womb. Write about life in the area where they lived, how they would have received their education if it was even available. If there are census records then include who their neighbors were for ? years.
Write of the Church they were baptized in, the type of farm, property, or business you discovered they owned. You may only find bits and pieces of their life puzzles, but with a couple of days of research you could discover enough to write a legacy of honor, hard work, love of family and community that will strengthen the foundations of your children and all who read and experience what you have written.
Start writing today, using your own journals for guidance in what would have been important at each stage of life. And if journal keeping is new to you, begin with your own history. It may seem boring to you, but to your decendents it could be what gives them the faith and determination to keep pulling forward.
In the middle of the 4th century, The Acts were compiled from letters Peter and Paul wrote to the Churches. It makes perfect sense that they were written from their own letters or papers, which the Apostles had written, because each book has its own way of speaking. Plus, as we grow older, our minds seem to naturally turn to the happenings of our youth and I have found myself writing about lessons I have learned and want to pass on to my loved ones.
At Family History seminars we often hear about the stories taken from a journal of an Aunt or Grandfather who wrote of the struggles involving crossing the plains and mountains of America, however those stories are rare. For the most part, we will spend years gathering certificates, census records and deeds, then do our best to create a map and timeline, but writing the life's story of an ancestor can be tricky, because we are viewing that story from the viewpoint of different life experiences.
When you have read histories or journals about life in the a timeline for your ancestors, and created a map of their travels, you'll begin to get a feel for what life was like in 1834 Scotland, or aboard a dark, smelly ship in 1773, etc. Then, somewhat like how you would while reading the scriptures, put yourself in the shoes of your twice great grandfather or whoever has resonated with you, and write their diary for them.
Write of the joyful celebration that must have occurred when the first child of 4 pregnancies was born alive and with strong lungs to complain about having to experience life outside of the womb. Write about life in the area where they lived, how they would have received their education if it was even available. If there are census records then include who their neighbors were for ? years.
Write of the Church they were baptized in, the type of farm, property, or business you discovered they owned. You may only find bits and pieces of their life puzzles, but with a couple of days of research you could discover enough to write a legacy of honor, hard work, love of family and community that will strengthen the foundations of your children and all who read and experience what you have written.
Start writing today, using your own journals for guidance in what would have been important at each stage of life. And if journal keeping is new to you, begin with your own history. It may seem boring to you, but to your decendents it could be what gives them the faith and determination to keep pulling forward.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
HAVE YOU HAD YOUR 'Whoopee Moment' YET?
About 30 years ago, I began gathering information to fill out my first Family History Chart. I knew NOTHING about what I was doing! I made almost all the Rookie mistakes, starting with giving the wives the same last name as their husbands. :( Now I look back and cringe.
I have felt that truthfully, and maybe knowledgeably, I only claim to have been doing genealogy for 25 years. Before then I was only gathering and learning how to become organized and figuring out how to gather and keep information.
As I was caring for my grandmother, Dorothy Schnee Hughes during the last 3 years of her life, I learned for the first time that we had another Uncle, Teddie Hughes. Uncle Teddie had been in the Air Corp, and grandma told me of the day he'd gone into the hospital for what the Drs thought was a stomach ulcer, but when they opened him up his stomach was filled with cancer. Uncle Teddie died three days later at the age of 28, leaving his wife Vivian and two children, Barbara and Eddie.
In the subsequent years I hadn't been able to add much to Grandma Dorothy's story, until yesterday. Here is my Whoopee Moment...
I received a note from Barbara's granddaughter through Ancestry.com's Message Board. She thanked me for creating the Schnee Genealogy, then filled in full names and dates for me about their family. Now I have the correct spelling for Aunt Vivian's maiden name, who she married after the death of Uncle Teddie, and some of their children!
Imagine, praying and searching for 25 years, and carefully compiling those records for others to see, have finally born fruit. I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry. Now we have family we haven't ever met and they are wanting to get to know us as much as we are wanting to know them!
The next time you begin to wonder if you are wasting your time, that your 'Brick Walls' are insurmountable, remember my story, and just keep gathering data, certificates, names, and stories. One day you will have your own Whoopee Moment.
I have felt that truthfully, and maybe knowledgeably, I only claim to have been doing genealogy for 25 years. Before then I was only gathering and learning how to become organized and figuring out how to gather and keep information.
As I was caring for my grandmother, Dorothy Schnee Hughes during the last 3 years of her life, I learned for the first time that we had another Uncle, Teddie Hughes. Uncle Teddie had been in the Air Corp, and grandma told me of the day he'd gone into the hospital for what the Drs thought was a stomach ulcer, but when they opened him up his stomach was filled with cancer. Uncle Teddie died three days later at the age of 28, leaving his wife Vivian and two children, Barbara and Eddie.
In the subsequent years I hadn't been able to add much to Grandma Dorothy's story, until yesterday. Here is my Whoopee Moment...
I received a note from Barbara's granddaughter through Ancestry.com's Message Board. She thanked me for creating the Schnee Genealogy, then filled in full names and dates for me about their family. Now I have the correct spelling for Aunt Vivian's maiden name, who she married after the death of Uncle Teddie, and some of their children!
Imagine, praying and searching for 25 years, and carefully compiling those records for others to see, have finally born fruit. I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry. Now we have family we haven't ever met and they are wanting to get to know us as much as we are wanting to know them!
The next time you begin to wonder if you are wasting your time, that your 'Brick Walls' are insurmountable, remember my story, and just keep gathering data, certificates, names, and stories. One day you will have your own Whoopee Moment.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
The Ancestry Insider: Inside Look at Ancestry.com’s Product Development ...
The Ancestry Insider: Inside Look at Ancestry.com’s Product Development ...: Chris Bradford Josh Penrod Kendall Hulet Ancestry.com presented a session at RootsTech Innovator’s Summit titled “Inside look at Ancestry.c...
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
WHY WASTE YOUR TIME ON FAMILY HISTORY...
I've had many people, most in my own family, ask me just that, "Why waste so much time on this?" So I thought I'd tell you...
My Sister and I aren't technically orphans, after all we do have one another, but when our Mother died we lost our link to her family, which was fragile at best, and later our Father passed also. With those loss of our Mother during our teens we also felt we'd lost the rest of our family. On top of that we found we would be forever childless.
We don't know if it was because of our DNA, or something we were exposed to as children, whatever the reason we are unable to give birth to our own children, which adds another dimension to the isolation we feel.
What that developed in us was a deep need, even an obsessive desire, for family. People who we belonged to, could visit with and love. Growing up we seldom were able to spend time with our half-brothers, and they didn't really have an emotional connection to us either. That puts a strain on them and a constant yearning within us that doesn't ease with time.
Doctors will tell you how the longer our Need for human connections goes unmet the greater the stress on our health becomes. High blood pressure, obesity, smoking, alcohol abuse, premature aging, all these are symptoms of a vast loneliness that threatens the very existence of the lonely.
My Sister and I keep in touch with our brothers and family though FaceBook, and a dinner now and then through the years, but what about all that in-between time? We work, constantly, for acceptance by those we spend the most time with. We also reach out in love to members of our family lines, hoping for signs of acceptance in return. When the loneliness is at it's highest we may find ourselves pushing our families away, just so we won't 'Hurt' anymore, (which by-the-way is not a very effective means to handle loneliness).
John Cacioppo, a neuroscientist at the University of Chicago coauthored a book all about it, Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. In his book he explains how if we want to be healthy adults, we must find a way to bring family into our lives.
I have met a large part of my need for family through my marriage to Marvin, (28 yrs this Spring) and though the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the many many friendships I've built over the years in and out of the Church where one of the chief ties-that-bind of the Gospel of Jesus Christ are family lines. You can see that in the 'begats' of the Old Testament.
I've found that Family History, or Genealogy, is a healthy way to connect and build my Family Foundation and to create a knowledgeable understanding of how my Family Lines ended up in America.
There are many ways to belong in this world, clubs you can join, services you can be a part of, but no matter how strong your feelings are for the people you rub shoulders with each and every day, the day will come when you will wonder where you come from and what that means in your life.
For me, Family History is a way to connect with my families in ways that fulfill part of that need for a strong relationship with my family. FaceBook is great, but when it comes down to survival we will always choose to save those people who we have the greatest emotional bond with.
So, here is your question for the day... If a Tsunami Wave were on the horizon, who (or what) would you grab hold of and rush to higher ground?
My Sister and I aren't technically orphans, after all we do have one another, but when our Mother died we lost our link to her family, which was fragile at best, and later our Father passed also. With those loss of our Mother during our teens we also felt we'd lost the rest of our family. On top of that we found we would be forever childless.
We don't know if it was because of our DNA, or something we were exposed to as children, whatever the reason we are unable to give birth to our own children, which adds another dimension to the isolation we feel.
What that developed in us was a deep need, even an obsessive desire, for family. People who we belonged to, could visit with and love. Growing up we seldom were able to spend time with our half-brothers, and they didn't really have an emotional connection to us either. That puts a strain on them and a constant yearning within us that doesn't ease with time.
Doctors will tell you how the longer our Need for human connections goes unmet the greater the stress on our health becomes. High blood pressure, obesity, smoking, alcohol abuse, premature aging, all these are symptoms of a vast loneliness that threatens the very existence of the lonely.
My Sister and I keep in touch with our brothers and family though FaceBook, and a dinner now and then through the years, but what about all that in-between time? We work, constantly, for acceptance by those we spend the most time with. We also reach out in love to members of our family lines, hoping for signs of acceptance in return. When the loneliness is at it's highest we may find ourselves pushing our families away, just so we won't 'Hurt' anymore, (which by-the-way is not a very effective means to handle loneliness).
John Cacioppo, a neuroscientist at the University of Chicago coauthored a book all about it, Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. In his book he explains how if we want to be healthy adults, we must find a way to bring family into our lives.
I have met a large part of my need for family through my marriage to Marvin, (28 yrs this Spring) and though the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the many many friendships I've built over the years in and out of the Church where one of the chief ties-that-bind of the Gospel of Jesus Christ are family lines. You can see that in the 'begats' of the Old Testament.
I've found that Family History, or Genealogy, is a healthy way to connect and build my Family Foundation and to create a knowledgeable understanding of how my Family Lines ended up in America.
There are many ways to belong in this world, clubs you can join, services you can be a part of, but no matter how strong your feelings are for the people you rub shoulders with each and every day, the day will come when you will wonder where you come from and what that means in your life.
For me, Family History is a way to connect with my families in ways that fulfill part of that need for a strong relationship with my family. FaceBook is great, but when it comes down to survival we will always choose to save those people who we have the greatest emotional bond with.
So, here is your question for the day... If a Tsunami Wave were on the horizon, who (or what) would you grab hold of and rush to higher ground?
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Wisdom from. ..
One of the truths about life is how your viewpoint changes with the passage of time. I grew up believing that all old people were filled with wisdom. Sadly, some of the Elderly are just filled with regrets,
I can relate to that, as the years stack up I have learned to bring them before The Lord and beg for forgiveness and cleansing, and leaving with a lighter heart.
Then one day I realized that I am becoming one of those 'wise' old people and unless I begin to share what I've figured out in the past 60 yrs I will have wasted what The Lord worked 60 years to help me learn.
I'm not saying I've learned anything earth shattering, but I've wondered if I might have been further along in my Earth - lessons if someone had shared Their life's lessons. What I'm saying is, wherever you are in life you have something good to pass on to the next generation., and maybe you can save someone a few years of regrets.
So, instead of looking for wisdom online, pass on to your family what you have learned while on life's journey. 50 years from now a determined genealogist might find your journal or diary and laugh and cry as they learn about the meaning of life.
It's your turn to bless the green horns who are so determined to make a difference.
I can relate to that, as the years stack up I have learned to bring them before The Lord and beg for forgiveness and cleansing, and leaving with a lighter heart.
Then one day I realized that I am becoming one of those 'wise' old people and unless I begin to share what I've figured out in the past 60 yrs I will have wasted what The Lord worked 60 years to help me learn.
I'm not saying I've learned anything earth shattering, but I've wondered if I might have been further along in my Earth - lessons if someone had shared Their life's lessons. What I'm saying is, wherever you are in life you have something good to pass on to the next generation., and maybe you can save someone a few years of regrets.
So, instead of looking for wisdom online, pass on to your family what you have learned while on life's journey. 50 years from now a determined genealogist might find your journal or diary and laugh and cry as they learn about the meaning of life.
It's your turn to bless the green horns who are so determined to make a difference.
Monday, February 2, 2015
Where To Go When Your Stuck?
Today I read a wonderful Blogspot called Nutfieldgenealogy.blogspot.com where Heather Wilkinson Rojo
has listed 10 Unexpected Places To Find Family. If you would like to read all of the information she included, just follow the Title Link above. All I have kept here are those guides that include links.
Before you use these great links you need to know where to look, and my favorite research tool is writing the Timeline. When you consider where to look for information on a family member try putting together their Life-line... Birth certificate, Baptism record, School records, Jobs and Census records, Marriage, Titles of Property, etc.
Now that you know what is missing you can narrow your ideas of which of the next ten areas to look!
From your lifeline write a storyline, then imagine yourself in that timeline. What is missing
1. Blogs –
Genealogy Blog Finder http://blogfinder.genealogue.com/ searches almost 1,800 genealogy blogs.
GeneaBloggers http://www.geneabloggers.com/search-geneablogger-member-blogs/ this link searches over 3,000 member genealogy and family history related blogs
Genealogy Blog Finder http://blogfinder.genealogue.com/ searches almost 1,800 genealogy blogs.
GeneaBloggers http://www.geneabloggers.com/search-geneablogger-member-blogs/ this link searches over 3,000 member genealogy and family history related blogs
2. Poverty Records –
Poorhouse records by State http://www.poorhousestory.com/records.htm
Check the extensive list at Cyndi’s List http://www.cyndislist.com/poor/ for more links
3. Lineage Societies – The DAR library http://www.dar.org/library in Washington, DC
The General Society of Mayflower Descendants has a website https://www.themayflowersociety.org/
Cyndi’s List for links to societies with online resources http://www.cyndislist.com/societies/lineage/
The General Society of Mayflower Descendants has a website https://www.themayflowersociety.org/
Cyndi’s List for links to societies with online resources http://www.cyndislist.com/societies/lineage/
4. Facebook (believe it or not!) This link has two PDF files http://socialmediagenealogy.com/genealogy-on-facebook-list/
6. Art Museums-
7. Academic Archives –
8. Religious Archives
The Congregational Library in Boston (see the database of digital collections at this link: http://www.congregationallibrary.org/digital-collections )
The Quaker Information Center http://www.quakerinfo.org/resources/genealogy
The Congregational Library in Boston (see the database of digital collections at this link: http://www.congregationallibrary.org/digital-collections )
The Quaker Information Center http://www.quakerinfo.org/resources/genealogy
9. Cemetery offices – Some private cemeteries, such as the Mount Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge, Massachusetts run an online database for burials http://mountauburn.org/map/
10. Fraternal or Civic Organizations – The New England Historic Genealogical Society (members only) has a database of Massachusetts Masonic registration cards www.americanancestors.
The Scottish Rite Masonic Museum and Library at the National Heritage Museum in Lexington, Massachusetts has an online catalog http://www.nationalheritagemuseum.org/
The Scottish Rite Masonic Museum and Library at the National Heritage Museum in Lexington, Massachusetts has an online catalog http://www.nationalheritagemuseum.org/
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The URL for this post is
http://nutfieldgenealogy.blogspot.com/2015/02/10-unexpected-places-to-find-family.html
Copyright ©2015, Heather Wilkinson Rojo
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